My Plants Are Like Pets, Sort Of

The woman in the bushes may be looking for her kids, or dusting the furniture. She represents an extreme version of the doctrine that house plants make indoors living healthier. Do they really? Let's have a look.

Indoor plants process air in a complementary way to humans and animals. People inhale air and exhale carbon dioxide (the Osama bin Laden of gases these days) while keeping most of the oxygen for ourselves. Plants inhale (respire, actually) air and exhale oxygen, while keeping most of the carbon dioxide for themselves. That God, He's just too smart. I could have stayed up all night and not thought of mammal-plant symbiosis. In those early days of life, when oxygen was plentiful, who knew? And if you're into the Jurassic Park thing, let's just say someone's nose was really twitching to figure all that out.

Indoor plants also release moisture into the air, as well as fragrance, organic volatiles, pollen, mold and bugs. A little tiny bit of anything is ok, but the woman in our photo is swimming in plant by-products. Are they harmful to her?

NASA has done some fascinating work on plants as possible space travelers. Most of the astronauts and a few of the astronettes preferred to go into space with human companions, never mind all the leafy potted co-pilots. But the plants made a good showing, releasing helpful oxygen, scouring the air for carbon dioxide, and removing some key contaminants while suffering no harm themselves. Thanks, Woody. The presence of potted plants in workspaces has proven their ability to improve air quality and morale with practically no factor of diminishing returns. The more plants, the better the air.

It may be possible, as in the photo, to overdo indoor plants. If you're acutely sensitive to mold and fragrances, plants might irritate your nasal passages and even your lungs. If you're devoutly asthmatic, you might have to pass on the benefits of houseplants. But you can try, starting from a clean house and few or no allergic symptoms, and see what effect houseplants have on your home. You might not notice the extra oxygen. You might appreciate the extra moisture in the air. You probably won't find a lovely young woman among your plants, unless you supply her yourself. And the nearly naked guy swinging through your ficus? That's your imagination.