My Dog's Fleas Make Me Wheeze and Sneeze

The photo shows a dust mite crawling through its own paradise of pet dander. "Dander" does not refer here to fits of temper or pique; it means skin particles, hair, saliva, sweat, pee, poo, flea carcasses and outdoor dirt. No, Dr. Evil, your hairless dog Mr. Bigglesworth is not exempt from dander. No pet except your python is truly blameless, and we're not counting old skins. Here's a Youtube link to a sketch on pet allergies.

The American Humane Society estimates that 15% of people are measurably allergic to dogs or cats. Of those allergic people, fully one third live with pets, refuse to give them up as allergies become more acute, and procure replacement pets when old friends pass away. Pet owners like their pets, even when pets make them wheezy, sniffly or even ill.

The Envirionmental Protection Agency says that pet dander is an acute trigger for asthma attacks. The American Lung Association lists pet dander among its major negative factors in indoor air quality and human health, adding that "there is no such thing as a hypo-allergenic pet."

Can you clean your way out of a pet allergy? The consensus is no. Pets release dander, hair, sweat, poo, pee, etc. at a rate that would overpower Mr. Clean in minutes. But, curiously, pet owners suffer all these things without (much) complaint in return for the companionship and comfort of their pets.

So as you tighten up your house, seal air leaks, root out moisture, mold and mildew, and clean up dust and dirt, you may be fighting only the easiest part of the battle for a healthy indoor environment. It's sadly possible that in strict terms of human health, a house with pets is better off with a few drafts and air leaks. Changes of air in your home are your best compromise with the health hazards that pet lovers can't, and usually won't, confront directly. We close with a (serious) Youtube clip telling you how to "lint-roll" your cat. Be sure to get it drunk first.