My Kitchen is Soooo Green!

Home appliances are moving with the times, and the times are increasingly energy conscious. My "water saving" Whirlpool washer is five years old and already obsolete. My Bosch dishwasher is eight years old and has been left standing by more recent, more energy efficient models. Yet both appliances were at the top of their markets when purchased, both much touted for their "greenness." If I want to stay green, we'll need new appliances. This greeness thing can be a bit of a trap.
The microwave oven hasn't evolved rapidly at all since appearing in the mid-20th century. The two (!) microwaves that sit in our kitchen are not technologically superior to their predecessors, a variety of Sharps and Littons and Magic Chefs. The heart of a microwave cooker is the Radio Frequency Emitter, a high voltage transformer and frequency emitter with a serious attitude that consumes from 600 to 1500 watts depending upon the model, bombarding the food with radiation safely below radioactive levels but still hazardous to one's health if exposed. So how green can a microwave be if it hasn't changed much in 50 years? Not so much. The emitters are a little less heavy, the clocks and timers are considerably more friendly, and for my money they've gotten quieter. But not much more energy efficient. When you shop for a microwave, what you're buying, roughly, is a device that operates much more efficiently than your electric range, toaster, toaster oven, or other resistance-based heating/cooking appliance. Here's a nice blog post from last year about microwave efficiency vs. the old stove. There may not be lots of energy to be saved from trading in your old microwave on a new one, but there is a real potential for savings in choosing your microwave for heating/cooking over the other devices. Try this link to an old article citing a University of Florida study comparing microwave cooking to resistance cooking, per task.
Will your Cuisinart save you energy? Noooo, not really. You could say chopping food into finer bits makes it cook faster. How's that? A bit lame? Yeah, you're right. How about your refrigerator? The link will show you that the best of the new Energy Star fridges will do the job for 40% less energy than the 2001 model sitting in my kitchen right now. And they do it mostly with better cabinet insulation; but they do it. That's a pretty good bump in efficiency, but bear in mind that those are the BEST new refrigerators. You can still buy lower priced models that operate at efficiencies about the same as my seven year old box. In fact, my Kenmore refrigerator was billed as "improved and more energy efficient" when it was first trotted out at Brand Central. But you have to spend more than the most cost-conscious shoppers if you want the nifty boxes that save energy.
How about my blender? How many minutes a day do you run it? Hard to get an advantage there, unless you're a bar owner specializing in daiquiris and such. Then, of course, you want a quiet one.
Toaster? It's just a smaller version of your electric oven, so you're better off letting it toast your bagel. And the microwave won't brown or toast. And just plain hot bread isn't a reasonable subsitute for the crispy manna upon which I spread my guilty pleasures in the morning. Convection ovens? Radiant ovens? They both have small advantages over the traditional resistance cooker. But how many hours a day do you use it? Energy savings, like most savings, are small but cumulative. A delicatessen can save serious energy (and serious loot) on a more efficient device that's used ten hours a day. Forward, then, the radiant cooker and the microwave to heat sandwiches and pastry. But at my house we spend an hour or so in the kitchen per day, and not all of it involves the big energy spenders. My refrigerator runs more efficiently when i don't open it. That technology isn't quite ready yet, though. My stove operates less than an hour a day on average. The microwaves do the heavy lifting for heating, thawing, and cooking those dishes on which they excel: chicken, steamed veggies, pork, potatoes. Click the link if you want recipes featuring those foods; if you don't believe microwaves will do all that, get your Google on and prepare to be surprised. My lovely missus hasn't ovened a turkey or chicken for a long time unless it was too large to fit in the Big Nuke.
To sum up: garbage disposal, food processors, mixers, blenders, all are objects used too little to justify a strongly energy-driven purchase. Concerning ranges, ovens, microwaves, it's difficult to gain a large energy advantage when buying. Refrigerators, now, that's another matter. If you were going to splurge on one sexy upscale appliance, and if you can afford one with the Energy Star rating, that one will pay you back. And the neighbor kids will gather 'round that ice dispenser until the floor is soaking wet. You'll notice that it runs less, and that, finally, is the best energy savings. It just doesn't run. Oh. And save up the money first. Financing is stressful and not at all energy efficient. Good luck.