No Hanging Out? Whatsamattawit'you?

It costs me (and you, too, dear reader) about a dollar to dry a load of clothes. If you're one of our Western Canadian readers whose power comes from hydro-plants, it could be 70 cents. But for the rest of us, powered by the modern miracle of nearly-free nucular energy, call it a dollar.

My loveliest and I dry about a large load a day. What, you say, self-employed old folks, kids long since gone, running a big load a day? Yeah, sorry, I'm a contractor, and I foul at least one, often two sets of clothing a day. So it's me, ok?

What could I do with an extra thirty dollars a month? I don't know, I might just throw it away at Blockbusters. But I could hang my clothes outside, in this fine spring weather, and save that thirty dollars a month. And families with children who are doing two or three loads a day could hang their clothes outside and save much, much more.

The downside? Oh, Lawdy Lawd, it's work! Yes, it's not convenient in the modern, labor saving sense of the word. It's old fashioned, it's po-face, it reeks of Waltons' re-runs, it...... just isn't cool, is it?

But it's economical, and pardon my Chechnyan, green as hell. It's the way my family dried clothes, even in the humid Florida heat, and Florida was hot and humid before Al Gore made it trendy. It was the way my daughters got out and tottered, in their many layers, to the line with my wife to make snow angels while mom hung out the wash. Yes, the hippy Robartses hung out their wash, even in winter.

If I needed to cut my power bills in half, to win a bet or accommodate my straitened Social Security stipend (I'll never see those checks, I fear, but I do dream), I'd begin by hanging out my wash. And in winter, I'd hang my wash inside under a ceiling fan.

And second, I'd wash my dishes in the sink. The on-line bric-a-brac about Energy Star dishwashers using less water than the sink is highly suspect and not supported by my experience. Two gallons of hot soapy water in the sink, another one mixed into the rinse water, and the dishes go back on the shelf courtesy of Elbow Grease. Nooooo!! More Work!

And third, I'd swear off air conditioning. If I had to. It costs me from 45 to 90 dollars a month to run my central air. I could save that with fans, cool drinks and old fashioned suffering. If I had to. I don't have to. But if I had to be the Green Gandhi, the Sultan of Sustainability, and my cred depended upon having all the right sacrifices going up in smoke, that's what I'd do.

My undies are entirely prosaic, not like the torrid thong in the photo, so the neighbors won't be talking, unless a high wind carries my stained levis into their yard, sending the goats into a feeding frenzy leading to expensive vet bills for surgical removal of my now useless jeans from the goats' nether passages. Hanging clothes outside comes with some risk, after all. Oh-- and check the local zoning-- in some trendy bottled-watering holes it's not permitted to show a clothesline. You could get into trouble, and Al Gore won't be galloping in to rescue you.